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2008.03.10

Frustration and Honesty

I've been getting...I'm not sure how to describe it exactly. I'm a generally-content person who has been getting a lot more frustrated overall; little things over several aspects of life are annoying me more than they used to, and they're adding up. Simultaneously, much larger gaffes are lingering. Bah.

What I'm discovering -- and while this has good aspects to it, I think it's a bad thing overall -- is that I'm getting much less reserved and much more blunt with dissenting feelings as I have them. Certainly there's good aspects to this, but considering I normally have the tact of a bulldozer, inhibitions are important, and losing them is probably not the best thing for me.

The problem is, I'm at the point where a lot of things that are upsetting me seem to be out of my control (although I suppose it's possible that this is an errant perception). So, I more or less just chase my tail and scream about them; things don't change.

I was thinking about the so-called "Serenity Prayer":

Lord, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

I think my issue is that I don't have the wisdom to know the difference. Lord, please give me that. :) I don't like not being content; I'm used to being content in most any situation so this is a foreign feeling to me, and I very much do not like it.

My goal for the next couple of weeks is to rediscover my normal contentment that I've lost so far this year.

comments(3) | permalink

Posted by at 10:04 p.m.

(In response to Luke looking over my shoulder) No, no sarcasm here.

I wish I could offer you anything on this front but I have it as well and, I think, a touch moreso than you. Unfortunately, I've given up on screaming and simply chase my tails quietly.

If you find contentment, let me know so I can buy some too. :D

Posted by on 2008.03.11 at 2:36 a.m.

I think the fundamental problem for most of us is having the wisdom to know the difference. In my case, it's often that I'm foolish enough to get them confused. :)

I'll pray for you (and myself as well) that God will grant us that wisdom.

Posted by on 2008.03.11 at 3:14 a.m.

You will get through this and plateau at a certain level of contentment. Then something else in your life will happen to disrupt it. Then a plateau....disruption...plateau. And so it goes.

Just consider this a time of learning and stretching your self, your knowledge, and your skills. I'm going through a similar time myself (just when I thought I had it all figured out, dammit).

Posted by on 2008.03.12 at 1:25 p.m.

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