Back in the Drudgery

How easy it is to slump back into old routines. I feel so incredibly exhausted after only three hours of class, and my four days of weekend seem to be but a distant memory. Chatter with several of my friends has reverted back into class-related discussion (which I am really starting to loathe more and more), and I just feel an all-around sense of tiredness, which while it is not as acute as it was last week, is still very much there and still very much a hindrance.

I'm losing sight of what I really want. Entire wars are lost because those fighting don't know what it means to win the war--I'm beginning to think I'm "losing" because I'm not really sure what I want. Whatever it is, it isn't this...of course, am I really sure what this is?

On the brighter side, I do feel really good today overall. It was very good to see several people back in town that were gone for the weekend, whom I missed. I enjoyed listening to their accounts of their weekend, although most of them were short and uninteresting ("I sat around and did nothing" "Well, good!"). It's good to know that my friends had fun also.

This writing seems to reflect mixed emotions...and that's because I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'm not sure what to think, but that's okay, because it'll come together for me soon enough. I look forward to this week being over, and I particularly look forward to summer conference, which will be a refreshing week with friends (as opposed to a refreshing week without them). We all need each other, I think.

Luke